Friday, December 19, 2008

Honey Oliveros...

...is too busy living life rather than blogging about it!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Starting All Over Again

No such thing as coincidence: I'm listening to "Starting All Over Again" (the original by Mel and Tim). I don't really subscribe to the drama and "effort" promoted by the lyrics, but the "starting over" part seems to be the theme of my last few days - starting over anew, on a fresh page, unencumbered by the past, that is. This last week has been filled with rediscovery of the wonder of the familiar, beholding Him making all things new (Revelations 21:1-5).

It all began when I took on something I thought I'd never be taking on again - accepting an accountability, in Landmark Education, I used to believe I'd "outgrown" (been there, done that, etc.) That opened up a space for me to take on other things in my life that I'd either given up on, set aside, or had been postponing for "someday, not now."

After 20 years, I'll be singing again onstage for the 25th year celebration of a college production that's grown to epic proportions since our days at the University of the Philippines. I'd relegated myself as a mere spectator and cheerleader after graduation, and I always thought I'd be satisfied back "in the stands." But I found myself stepping up once again, with that good old college performance experience mno longer just filed away in memory but made real. At least this time around, I can stay up at rehearsals without incurring the wrath of the parental units. Heh heh.

Also, after almost a decade of keeping to the sidelines, I've found myself back in the arms of my first love as a lawyer: litigation. Now that I've taken that on again fully, I get what I loved so much about it in the first place: the challenge of preparation and research, the gambit and strategic foresight, the intellectual stimulation and thinking on one's feet. It's what I'm best at, and I now can't even remember why I ever gave it up in the first place!

I'm also back in a personal "game" that I'll share about later - suffice it to say that I'd been in the "gallery" with respect to that area of my life for a good year or so. I didn't want to risk or confront anything that could lead to slightest hint of failure...but that's in the foreground again, and I'm playing full-out, on the court, from here on. Ha, as they say, intentions count for nothing; actions determine the outcome! I've also found that saying "yes" and giving my commitment, without having to think too long and hard about it ("Just do it!"), has opened up so much, so quickly - once I've given my word to something, the question of how I'm going to fulfill on it and make everything else work out becomes - for lack of a better term - incidental, and the challenge is transformed from "daunting" to "exciting."

In other areas, I've also rediscovered my love for cooking as an expression of my love for the people in my life, reestablished my connection with 70's soul music, reconnected with those most important to me, and rekindled old flames that I thought had gone out. Wink, wink.

I've found - and am continuing to find - adventure and newness in the familiar, and I'm loving it. I may be exploring "old" waters, but this time, with a beginner's mind - through which anything is possible. For indeed, I CAN do ALL things through Him who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13) :-)

Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Great Barack Hope

I caught the TV coverage of the Democratic National Convention today, and for some strange reason, I found myself in tears. During Bill Clinton's speech, no less. Weird.

So I took a look at why I was uncharacteristically moved, and I now know.

Clinton's magnanimous endorsement of the man, who, just a short while ago, had been fighting tooth-and-nail with the former First Lady for the Democratic nomination for the US Presidential race, was something new and outrageous - for me and my view of the political process, anyway.

I was moved by possibility - this outpouring of love and support for a former rival in a nomination bitterly sought - a possibility I have not ever experienced in the political processes of my own country.

It just goes to show how resigned and cynical I'd become by the political goings-on in the Philippines. My experience of it is that there is no loyalty to party or principle, only to individual interest; and if this had ever happened in the Philippines, Hillary would go on to form her new party and insist on running for President herself, hell or highwater notwithstanding. Which probably explains the proliferation of all of these Philippine political parties - the inevitable result of the phenomenon of a sore loser. Matalo, pikon.

But what if we just stood behind each other to have all of us WIN, instead of jockeying for first place? Now that's a possibility for Philippine politics.

And may I just say that I LIKE Barack Obama. One, for the words that come out of his mouth: words of possibility, not predictability. I think America needs that kind of buoyant spirit...heck, I think many nations, particularly my own, would benefit from that breath of fresh air. Secondly, I remain amazed at the possibility of "altering the conversation" - a conversation that once said that the earth is flat, that women could not vote, that a person of color could never, ever be President of the United States.

I trust that Obama will put his money where his mouth is; and if he does, he would be the shining standard for politicians around the world. The audacity of hope, indeed.

Blessings and Possibilities

I'm writing from the lanai of my sister's new apartment, 26 stories up on Nuuanu Avenue, with the Honolulu harbor in full view. Aloha from Hawaii: I have arrived.

It's been almost six months since my last US trip, pretty much par for the course since I created this lifestyle possibility a couple of years ago - and to think that I'd been putting this off for a number of "convenient" reasons. Now, and especially since I completed reviewing the Landmark Forum last week, I really continue to get that anything is possible, by integrity in one's word and through the grace of God. I've had the opportunity to travel halfway around the world every six months since that particular possibility was created, aside from the shorter Asian and local trips in between. Yet part of the anxiety that overshadowed the excitement of flying off again came mostly from the past - uncomfortable flights, unfounded customs and immigration concerns (would they take my sister's tuyo and taba ng talangka away?), a ridiculous niggling fear that something - any little thing - would go wrong.

None of that happened - talk about the constraints the past imposes on our view of life! I was blessed with impeccable timing (the rains from tropical depression Lawin, which caused monumental traffic jams on the roads, hit Manila only a few minutes after I'd been dropped off at the airport); no heavy lifting of luggage (yay for friendly NAIA porters!); an empty seat beside me on the plane that had me sleep better and gave me easy access to the bathroom; the fastest and friendliest US baggage claim/immigration/customs procedure ever that had me in and out of Honolulu International in 15 minutes (!!). Plus all my other concerns I left behind are complete - the Advanced Course is in the best of hands, last minute law office work handled, personal and professional communications re pending matters communicated and addressed.

Which gave me enough space to indulge in a rare luxury I haven't experienced since leaving Chicago in March - an American cable TV marathon! Sigh. Praise God for His goodness and the miracle of breathers.

Will be getting off the couch and exploring the rest of Oahu tomorrow - and then there's Maui on the weekend! And then mainland US after that. Mahalo Lord, You make all this possible indeed. :-)

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Diversionary Tactics

I've been remiss in keeping my posts updated - it's been almost a month since I wrote anything...but I have a good, er, excuse. A couple of good ones, in fact.

First, I rediscovered fiction! And in a big way. I think law school and the legal profession snuffed out my passion for reading all things wild and wonderful, where for a few glorious hours I got to suspend disbelief (wait a minute, what am I talking about - some of the cases we had to read, heck, some of those I actually defended, bordered on the improbable). Anyway, somewhere along the line I stored all my fiction titles away - the murder mysteries, the trashy techno-thrillers, the heart-wrenching tales of life and love - and replaced them all with travel accounts, biographies, useful legal analyses of the system, metapyhsical treatises, inspirational books of faith and the Church, and (eek) business volumes.

How much fun was that?

And then, something happened. My Dad recently came home from the US with a couple of James Rollins books, which I ignored for a while. But curiousity got the better of me, and so I started to read, and read, and read... until I found that I couldn't stop. For the better part of a week I began to desperately binge on reading fiction like my life depended on it - I couldn't get enough. Rollins, Steve Alten, Javier Sierra, Raymond Khoury, Sam Bourne, Thomas Gifford, John Case, Dan Brown...and a little Mitch Albom for dessert (I went through one his books in a little more than an hour, while waiting to meet up with a friend). At the end of it all, I managed to read no less than 15 books in 7 days - pretty much a personal record of sorts. One of the best parts of it was that I got to read most everything for free, thanks to those online e-book exchange forums.

I'm still going through at most one book a day, but I think the "worst" is over. I've apparently satisfied an unconscious urge I'd been suppressing for a decade or so, and it looks like it's levelled off - for the meantime, at least (I'm presently downloading a few more titles discriminately picked out from a huge 2,000++ collection).

Ah, reading. The best diversion, ever (especially since I've not had any television for the last several months). Pass me that David Morrell, if you please.

Oh, and before I forget - I have a second excuse: I just celebrated another birthday among friends and family, so I was in the thick of preparations for that over the last few days (the annual party - the count was at least 70 people who came this year, a relatively small-ish crowd as a bunch of people didn't make it last Saturday - is my little way of thanking everyone for who they are in my life). While that was an awesome experience, I didn't get a single book as a birthday present. Oh well :-)

Sunday, July 13, 2008

The Voice of Truth



"I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13


I heard this on the radio today: it reminded me of who - and Whose - I am.

The Voice of Truth (Casting Crowns)

Oh, what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win, you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory,"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
To have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
Of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again
"Boy you'll never win, you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory,"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory,"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Failure To Lunch

I'm finally consolidating and updating my backlog of gastronomically related posts on a new site, Failure To Lunch. I've found that one of the best ways to diet is, oddly enough, to be constantly around food - preparing it, smelling it, cooking it, plating it, writing about it - at the end of it all, I'm vicariously sated without having to take more than a single bite. Enjoy!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Obstacles on the Road to Possibility

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." - Henry Ford

The building where my office is doesn't have elevator muzak, it has elevator musings. I appreciate the efforts of the building administrator or whoever thought up this idea - instead of staring impatiently at the lift's floor indicator, we get to reflect on whatever words of wisdom happen to be posted on the panel. Or at least I get to.

Today's message made me smile; old dorky me and my "machinery" just got through of a couple of restless days of self-negation. The conversations in my head, while distinguished as mere conversations, were unforgiving: "You can't pull that off!"; "You failed at this-and-that in the past, what makes you think you can do this now?"; "Too many people are counting on you - do you really want to be responsible?" etc., ad nauseam! What I got is that all the internal dialogues were putting in place imaginary limitations and obstacles based in the past; and with all that past in my future, there was absolutely no room for possibility. I'd taken my eyes off the "prize" - what I'm committed to - and instead had focused a little too much on what was in the way of fulfilling on that.

As always, it took a conversation with another human being to sort that out - and it wasn't even a conversation about myself and what I'm dealing with. My law partner Kenneth and I had a profound discussion about God, His Church, and religion, and while I was doing most of the "distinguishing," I got something myself out of what I said.

One of Ken's questions was how to tell whether it's God who's "talking," or if it's just him having conversations in his own head. I don't where I read or heard this, but I've subscribed to the view that words that do not comfort are not from God. Now this has nothing to do with desolation or consolation in the Ignatian sense, or with conscience as Christianity knows it. What I'm talking about are the internal dialogues that disempower; that negate, diminish, or have us be less of the creations we are in His eyes. Those very conversations that I just had over the last two days: conversations of im-possibility, of incapacity, of smallness. Of shirking from one's own God-given greatness and of turning away from possibility. Of not trusting in His infinite power and in the miraculous.

Yeah, I got that. And I'm "off it" :-). To infinity and beyond...bring on the miracles, I'm ready for 'em!

Monday, June 09, 2008

Complete

Yesterday, Sunday, was the final full day of the most recent Landmark Forum in Manila. Participants got THE conversation of the LF, the big kabaaaaammm! that ties it all together.

I had a little breakdown in my schedule early in the morning, so I missed Father Gregg Banaga's Mass for the participants and the assistants. I always love when either Father Gregg (President of Adamson University, and a former Introduction Leader of the LF) or Father Elis of the Salesian order celebrate Sunday Mass; they bring the distinctions of transformation so beautifully into the conversation of Christianity and the Church.

But anyway. As I'd missed the morning Mass, I went to the noon Mass at Sta. Maria della Strada instead, with the intention to have a revelation in my faith. And I did.

It wasn't earth-shaking or mind-blowing; rather, it came, as God often speaks, in a quiet whisper during consecration.

The Lord sees us with the eyes of a Creator who gave up His only Son so that our sins may be forgiven. He looks upon us not with revulsion or derision for our imperfections, but as the redeemed: unblemished, pristine, and as perfect as He created us in the beginning. For while we initially fell from grace, we, in His great plan, have all been cleansed by the blood of the Lamb.

Strangely enough, we are frequently less forgiving of ourselves than the Great Forgiver Himself. We oftentimes beat ourselves up, emotionally and spiritually, without regard to how He took the fall for our transgressions, and how He suffered and died so that we wouldn't have to. We get stuck in a world of making ourselves (and others) wrong, worrying about how our lives are going, figuring out where we've lost our way, without regard for what His passion and cross were all about.

And here is what I got: He, once and for all, on that dark afternoon on Calvary, healed our brokenness. He got us back to where we were as He intended us: whole, perfect, and complete. And for what? So we could be HIM in the world, to continue what He began - to have OTHERS recognize who they are in His eyes. Whole, perfect, and complete.

Yet when we "indulge" in our brokenness, when we dwell too long in "what's wrong with me?" or "why are things not going the way they should?," or "what does He really want me to do?" we are useless to Him and His plan. Our brokenness, blessed as it may be, keeps us from being there for OTHERS - from being there for and being Him to the flock He has entrusted us to tend. Our world becomes all about us as our individual selves, and not about Him - He who is in our neighbors and in the world as He is in us. Ironically, it is, the giving of ourselves to others - the outpouring of who and what He has blessed us with - that has us have the experience of being COMPLETE.

I am reminded of my earthly hero, Mother Teresa, and her dark night of the soul, which lasted for decades. Despite her inner turmoil, she gave of herself to the world, without shutting herself out or retreating from what she was called to do. And the Lord's work was done through her, and continues to be done, many years after her death. She touched, healed, and comforted countless lives without succumbing to the temptation to withdraw, fix, or figure it out before moving along.

We are, indeed, jars of clay that contain a great Treasure. While we are easily broken, through every crack and shard the magnificence that is within shines through. Our job is not to patch up the pieces and keep the container intact. Our mission is to break ourselves open, completely, so that the glorious Presence within finally, and perfectly, is released to illuminate all the world with His Light.

Amen.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Walk, BC, Walk!

Good old BC has a plan, and I'm loving it already. I've always held that the streets of Baguio City were made for walking :-)

BAGUIO CITY – An energy-saving campaign designed to eventually rid this mountain resort city of cars and other motor vehicles for six days a week began Monday with a walk.

About 200 local officials, employees and residents walked to work as their share in efforts to conserve energy, cut fuel consumption, and protect the environment.

Mayor Reinaldo Bautista Jr., Rep. Mauricio Domogan, Laoag Archbishop Ernesto Salgado, Bishop Carlito Cenzon and other local government officials walked to Burnham Park alongside government workers, teachers and their children for a flag-raising ceremony that launched the "Walk Baguio Walk" energy-saving campaign.

Read the rest of the article here.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Happy and Gay

I was 16 when a friend of mine "outed" himself to me. I can still remember the moment clearly: we were on the couch of my living room, there was a party going on, and he said to me, very seriously and from out of the blue, "Honey, I'm gay."

My response? "Oh, okay."

That was a first of many "outings" of male friends throughout the years - some, like the first, came out of left field; others met a reaction of "well, duh." And some never felt the need to say anything at all - it was a foregone conclusion that we didn't feel the need to discuss.

But I should say that I'm somewhat of a clearing for open admissions of sexuality, albeit that majority have not out-ed themselves to the general public. I guess it's mainly because I'm not one to condemn sexual preference, and also because I always react with, "Oh, okay. One more San Mig Light?"

The revelations have ranged from up-front admissions (often with some initial trepidation on the "admittee's" part) to phone conversations to outright confrontation (always gentle and non-accusatory, of course). And to the last person, every single admittee has become (if they weren't already) a great friend. Some have even introduced me to other gay friends who became great friends without the uncomfortable question of "is he or is he not" hanging in the background; there were even a few times when I was the only female in a big gathering of homosexuals, many of whom were still in the closet - and they were free to BE.

Now, my mother likes to explain away my civil status with the hypothesis that most of the men I hang out with are interested in other men: "Ayan, bakla na naman kasi ang kasama mo!" Which, I should say, is not entirely true (and I also say this for the benefit of my heterosexual guy friends who may be inaccurately branded). I have an equal proportion of straight and gay buddies, but I guess it's the gay guys who create a lasting impression (especially around Mummy). And because they tend to "come out" of the woodwork around me.

Which is just fine with me. I've wept with them over their heartaches, pretty much like I've done with my female friends (or even more so - my girl friends are a hardy bunch). I've listened to their sexual shenanigans in great detail (very few straight men friends dare to even discuss that, much less female friends). I've heard all about their struggles with their preference, and even seen many of them through the suffering - the key to which being, a non-judgmental "oh, okay." And my relationship with gay men has even honed my finely tuned "gay-dar" - which, unfortunately, only seems to work on Asian men. I've had to consult the experts (i.e., my gay friends) on the disputable gender orientation of certain men of other races, particularly Caucasians. But still, I'm never ever surprised by revelations of sexual orientation. All together now: "Oh, okay."

My gay friends are wonderful human beings, with their own trials and triumphs. They are amazingly self-expressed around me, and fondly affectionate - I wouldn't allow many straight guy friends to be so outrightly cuddlesome. I would however, walk hand in hand with a gay friend in the mall without worrying about what anyone would think (and many of my gay friends are HOT male specimens, so that's added value, even though imaginary haha). Speaking of which, some of them have been mistaken by other people not in the know, as my current beaus...if only other people knew what I do! When we're whispering into each other's ear, it's not sweet nothings - we're just talking about the cute guy across the room and making bets as to which gender he prefers.

So anyway, here's to my gay friends, in the closet or out. I love you all, you're blessings in my life - but heck, let me find Mr. Right without your getting first dibs! Mwah :-)

P.S. I've also had some amount of female gay out-ings in my life, but not as much. At least they're not competition. :-)

Thursday, May 29, 2008

The Difference Between Men and Women

I'm pretty blessed to have as friends a variety of the most amazing human beings who have ever walked the planet. In fact, at one point a couple of years ago, I even wondered, what did a loser like myself do to deserve friends like this? Turns out I wasn't such a loser after all. :-) Like attracts like, amazing attracts fantabulous, so I'm no longer in the dark about it. Ha ha!

But anyway. I've been looking at my relationships with these wonderful friends of mine, and distinguishing the dynamics that exist as regards my male buddies, as opposed to my female ones. Doing my personal version of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, so to speak. I shall do a whole entry on my gay friends (and they are many), but I may make reference to them as well as I go along (or not).

Women are Cheerleaders, Men are Naysayers. And it's no coincidence that my best guy friend's name is "Ney" (not just Ney but Ney!Ney!) My women friends egg me on, especially in relationships - some even see meaning and possibility where there is none. Not particularly helpful, especially in the realm of "experience" vs. "interpretation" - but I find it a uniquely female trait. Women will get kilig with you, and I've even had some female friends CREATE the experience of kilig FOR me: "Uuuuy why did he ask you this-and-that?" or "You're so bagay!" While all the time I'm going, duh? What happened? Sometimes I miss the ball that's coming straight at me - or even, the imaginary ball.

Men, on the other hand, will take on being devil's advocate, to the point of crushing every hope and dream and interpretation one harbors. I don't know if it's the challenge of it, but they will argue the other side of the coin, come hell or highwater. They will deconstruct everything that happened into just that - it doesn't mean anything until the guy in question actually declares it out loud and/or swears on a stack of Bibles. Not only that, even if he's done so, men will find something wrong about the other man in question, and ultimately say, as opposed to the women's "He's so great/perfect for you!!!," that "There's something wrong with him." For years, I've received a gamut of male comrade feedback that ranged from "He's not right/good enough for you," to "Bad idea," "He looks like so-and-so (insert negative caricature)," "I think he's gay,", "I don't like him." Take that simultaneously with women friends' rah-rah and you got a schizo in the making.

Women will laugh and cry with you, Men want to make it all better. The wonderful thing about girl friends is that they will listen, commiserate, be happy/pissed/sad with you, no questions asked.

Men will try to FIX whatever they think is going wrong, just so you don't shed another tear. The thing is, sometimes you just need a shoulder, not a handyman. I've given a few male friends lessons in saying "ah huh," "is that so," and "I'm sorry to hear about that" to the women in their life - but they've never quite managed to resist the urge. They just gotta be Mister Fix-It...and consequently have to bear the ire of whatever female is unburdening on them.

Women talk feelings and experience, Men talk shop. I've never been the kind of girl who goes into the restroom with a gaggle of other females and emerges an hour later. I go the bathroom to powder my nose or go pee, and I don't need an entourage or more than five minutes to accomplish that. I can talk to you about our dates or whatever else ails me, emotionally, much, much later. But if we're going out with our guys, I just wanna talk...with you and with them. Men don't feel the need to congregate in the confines of the little boys' room to dwell on whether their dates like them or not - I don't think they even dwell on that issue at all, in public. I've found myself, more than once, left with all the men - talking shop - while the women disappeared into the black hole of the loo; I've had to retrieve them more than a couple of times.

Women don't go out for a couple of beers, Men do. Most women, that is. Sometimes I just want to toss back a couple and have a heartfelt conversation over copious amounts of alcohol - but many of my women friends want coffee and cheesecake...neither of which are on my list of favorite things (caffeine and carbs, ugh!). Thank goodness my best female friend appreciates the soothing properties of alcohol, and indulges with me on many occasions. So does my best male friend - and a whole range of other guy friends who don't think anything of having several brewskies to end the night. I don't have too many girl friends who will do that with me, unfortunately.

Thus, the best evenings for me are with my two best friends - one male, one female - over a bottle of wine each, balancing each other's quirks out by imbibing sufficient amounts of booze, crying on each other's shoulders, and saying what's there without fear or favor. Sometimes the male tries to fix it and the females (myself included) are a little too accomodating, but everything all works out in the end.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Conversations with John

Had a nice congratulations-for-passing-the-NY-Bar lunch with my good friend and business partner John today. I've written about him briefly before; he's the kind of guy who would have been my favorite guy classmate/seatmate/confidant in elementary school, except that he was my favorite guy classmate/seatmate/confidant in the Landmark Advanced Course (which, come to think of it, was almost like elementary school, without the childhood drama). Add relationship guru to the mix, and that's John.

I only get to see him infrequently, but each time, our breakfast/lunch conversation progresses from sometime business matters, his work, and Landmark kwento, to relationship - particularly, the state of mine. Other than my best guy friend Ney, who brings a whole different flavor to the "he said-she said" conversation (and who isn't quite the early morning/afternoon person), John brings the happily-married male perspective into clear daylight.

Yesterday, at another lunch with the girls, I firmly resolved to really put what I'm creating in a relationship at the foreground, instead of conveniently brushing it aside and concentrating on and doing well at the "easier" stuff (like career and everything else I'm up to). In the end, Miles said to just get off it (albeit in more graphic terms) and declare that I'm interested in this particular person I'm uncertain about (what's new? Sigh).

John has a different take on it. First off, he's met the guy and doesn't like him ("smart aleck" daw). Haha! That's what guy friends are for (well-meaning saboteurs! Women friends are so much more encouraging). Second, he says he's gotta be convinced that I'm reeeeeaaally in love with someone, as in with the whole experience of butterflies-in-stomach and pounding heart (as opposed to just being "interested"). Third - and he says he's pretty good at this - he offered me a prescription of what kind of guy I should be with.

According to him, the guy would be someone "on the court" - the basketball court, that is - rather than in his head; someone in action. So no uber self-analytical, introspective types. Someone who'd come back from his sport (or something - this is John's creation), and say, Come on, let's grab a beer (that part I like, hehe). And not always be asking to "analyze him" - except on occasion. Someone's who's smart without the aleck, is no pushover (I can push pretty hard), and who's ready to take on caring for me and the kids (that's good old forward-thinking John).

I kinda met someone like that not so long ago, but I let him "get away." John says for me to go get him back. In the meantime, he's on the lookout too, on my behalf, for a sport-playing, self-expressed, smart guy whom he can get along with. Wait a minute, I thought this was all about ME!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Wellness

I'm OFF IT! The sickness, that is. Funny how a single conversation can spell the whole difference.

The symptoms I'd written about earlier went the congested-respiratory-system way. There was a heaviness in my chest, a general experince of malaise and unwellness, just not being OK, physically.

But trust my committed listener to get to the root of all this - of why I wasn't at full power, of what I'd been suppressing (hence the congestion), of why I wasn't completely alive and well.

In the course of the conversation, natumbok namin. Without getting into the details, I had myself BACK in possibility, fully enlivened, ready to take on the infinite. Healed, and complete. Praise God for providing that. :-)

I'm fully charged and ready to go! The lights of possibility are on and at full wattage. MERALCO, send me the bill!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Sick Day

I'm declaring a sick day tomorrow. The symptoms of illness - which, I should say, I rarely encounter - are upon me: a weird stuck-ness in my throat, muscle aches, cotton in my head. It's still to early to determine which way they're going - be it a cough, colds, or the flu - but a dis-ease is brewing.

So what is up? I come from a family of physicians, so the logical explanation would be some virus attacking an immune system weakened by the weekend of strenuous travel and late nights. But I'm more interested in the ontological explanation of disease: mentally and metaphysically, physiology aside, what has my body experience this imbalance? After all, as Christ healed physical infirmities, he forgave the attendant sin and released the accompanying suffering. So there must be something there - we all probably know about how mental stress results in ulcers, insomnia, and skin disease.

One great resource is Louise Hay's Heal Your Body, which gets to the thought patterns that contribute to disease. I don't claim it to be Gospel truth, but it sure has hit the mark too often to ignore. So let's take a look at the possible sources of my impending illness/es:

Muscles (or the pains thereof) - Resistance to new experiences. Muscles represent our ability to move in life.

Colds - Too much going on at once. Mental confusion, disorder. Small hurts.

Coughs - A desire to bark at the world. "See me! Listen to me!"

Influenza - Response to mass negativity and beliefs. Fear. Belief in statistics.

Hmmm...at the moment, I can't pinpoint one or the other. But I guess I don't need to - I'll let the illness take its course, allow my body to heal itself, and continue to pray and distinguish what's with this gig. I'll be up and about on Thursday, but in the meantime I'm gonna crash and recuperate.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Whatta Weekend!

Woke up today (Monday) at 11 a.m. after an awesome weekend. The adventure began early Friday morning with assisting in the Landmark Advanced Course, and continued throughout the afternoon drive up to Quezon with Bakang the balikbayan. Johanna couldn't make it until the next morning, so we ventured off on our own, neither of us knowing exactly where Quezon was (see earlier post about that quandary).


But we made it all the way to Lucena with nary a hitch, spared of the traffic that the earlier rains had brought. The signs just pointed the way, and we were pleasantly surprised, in the middle of a good conversation, to find ourselves right in front of the hotel. Yay!

The evening and the next morning were all about wedding preparations; while we're on the topic, I have a few words to say about preparations in general. Although I enjoy some amount of spontaneity in my travels, I'm still very much a planner when it comes to the essentials: tickets booked ahead of time, a fully gassed-up car that works, everything I need to pack, a place to stay. Gone are the days of just taking off and sleeping in the car or on the concrete of an open-air basketball court. And so, I'd naturally booked Johanna and myself a room at the Queen Margarette (silent, superfluous "te"), as recommended by Bogart. Bakang and another friend who arrived later that evening had not. Neither did some other guests who got into town only to find that there were no other rooms available. So my point is, adequate preparation saves the day and eliminates unnecessary suffering. Fortunately for Bakang and friend, the absent Johanna's bed was big enough for the both of them, and the room eventually accomodated all four of us the next night, so the boys didn't have to sleep in the bathtub.

Saturday afternoon was Bogart and Neren's wedding - a wonderfully moving ceremony attended by family and friends, many of whom had flown in from far away or driven the distance. The reception was of rockstar calibre, not surprising for Boging the rockstar personified! It was an opportunity to connect with friends we'd met throughout the years of jamming at Bogart and Bakang's apartment (many of whom I didn't recognize immediately in the finery of their apparel - and vice versa: "Honey, is that you? It's Honey, right?! We had some beers together on such-and-such date," and so on) and to create new ones. And so the drinking and the conversation went on throughout the eve and the night of the wedding...with and without the happy couple. This particular group of friends of mine is extremely musically inclined, so Bakang's new Suzhou-purchased acoustic guitar was put to good use.







The day after was a little more relaxed, with a lot less alcohol involved. We took a trip further down Quezon to Lucban for a nice seafood lunch, and headed back home to Manila, blessed with minimal traffic and great weather. For me, the evening was far from over as I went straight back to the Advanced Course afterwards...and I finally called it a wrap at 4:00 a.m. on Monday, happy and fulfilled.

Whatta weekend indeed, and what an incredible week that lies ahead!!

Friday, May 16, 2008

Whatta Week

I don't think I've ever been more present to such a roller coaster ride of a week than I have with this one. One day I was up, the next I was swooping down, and at one precarious point, I found myself suspended in mid-air, belly-up, hanging on for dear life.

But the good thing about roller coasters is that they're just so much fun - downward spirals and all (because you always know that the next turn is even more exciting) and, so far, I've always made it out alive. The key probably is in not getting off before the ride is over. That, perhaps, would definitely have spelled doom.

At one point, I couldn't wait for the week to be over and done with and to move forward. It was just all about getting to the end in sight. But now that it's here, I'm going back on for another turn. Whoopee!!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Praise God!

Praise God Almighty for possibility fulfilled...I just passed the New York Bar!

Thank you to family and friends for prayers, love, sourcing, and support. And thank you to Him from Whom all good things come :-)

Alleluia, praise the Lord! Wooohoooh, yehaa...

Monday, May 05, 2008

My Kingdom for a GPS

Or, should I say, how to navigate my kingdom without one.

We're driving down to Lucena, Quezon next weekend for a good friend's wedding, and I have no idea how to get there. Well, that's a little exaggerated - I have some idea, but I'd only been down that road once sometime in the early part of the century, en route to see the whale sharks in Donsol. Plus Larry was doing the driving (and plotting the route to Sorsogon for future butanding seekers), so I didn't pay very much attention. I would ask him, but my human GPS is in NYC as I write so that doesn't work out for me too well.

I know Northern Luzon like the back of my hand, but Southern Luzon is a mystery to me. Which is pretty much to my own detriment, as I found that part of the country lovely in its own way and had promised myself long ago to go further down than my usual Batangas/Mindoro destinations. I'm finally keeping that promise, but how the heck do you get to Quezon?

Just take the Sto. Tomas road, and head on to San Pablo, said my Dad. Uh ok, thanks, I think. I gotta figure out where those places are first. Unfortunately, the Philippines has yet to develop a decent map engine, and I've yet to know about a local car GPS that can actually direct you to your destination. For now, the best we can do is rely on sites like waypointsdotph, or, much to my delight, multimap. Or, just like the olden days, stop every few kilometers and ask the locals to point us in the right direction.

Speaking of locals - wait a minute! I've overlooked something (a realization that hit me just when I was typing this). Johanna, who's making the trip down with me, is from the Bicol region in Southern Luzon herself, even further south than Quezon...so what the heck was I worried about?! Talk about a useless exercise in unnecessary aggravation.

But I still want that car GPS. Grrrrghh.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Only In Da Pilipins


Muhuhaha...haylaveet!! (from Facebook's Funny Pinoy Signs)

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Movie Marathon

One of the perks of this created lifestyle is that I get to "earn my keep" in a lot less time than the usual workday/week, and do whatever else I choose for the remainder. Yesterday, after a short out-of-town meeting (and a very long wait in C-5 traffic), I motored home to do some serious movie marathoning.

My Dad had gotten me a new DVD player for Christmas last year, but it remained untouched until Wednesday afternoon when I ditched the old machine and set up the sleek, 1 1/2-inch, fresh-out-of-the-box one. I think the cinema craving was resurrected by an impulsive itch the other day to see Jet Li and Jacky Chan (two of my favorite actors) in The Forbidden Kingdom, an epic kung-fu movie (one of my favorite genres). Good thing Lex was up to an early afternoon viewing in SM North - perfect company, even if the popcorn/soda vendor slacked off and could not be found every time I slipped out to buy some munchies. Thank goodness for our Bread Talk baon.

Anyway, I began to go through my backlog of collected DVDs by putting on 638 Ways To Kill Castro. Love documentaries; this one was fascinating. You gotta root for the old socialist underdog!

That was followed by an old favorite - Akira Kurosawa's Dreams. I first saw it in 1990, with Ken and I think Emily, Doyet and Miles; and I remembered how much I loved it. Seeing it with new eyes 18 years later had me thinking that old Akira had a thing for aftermaths: environmental degradation, war, nuclear disaster... the film would have been, for the most part, better off titled "Nightmares."

I also saw another Kurosawa movie - Madadayo (1993). Loved that one too. It was also about aftermath, in a good way: the loving aftermath of a great teacher's career and the students who cared for him.

Next in line was the obligatory Hollywood movie - Little Miss Sunshine. I'd been meaning to see it for a while, but I always put it off...didn't regret seeing it. Had fun, it was cute. But I've not fancied American movies for a while, so it didn't quite rank up there.

I wanted to see A Day Without A Mexican again, but somehow the DVD didn't want to play, so I put on My Big Fat Independent Movie...and promptly fell asleep.

Today, I saw more Kurosawa - finally finished Ran (mad King Lear, shogun style), and am in the middle of Red Barber. I adore these flicks. Love Chinese kung-fu epics as much (got me a whole bunch of those tonight too). Catch y'all later.

Monday, April 28, 2008

My Way or the Highway

"Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything." - Charles Kuralt

I was a little disappointed to hear that the new Clark-Subic Expressway was closed during the weekend, and would only re-open today, April 28. My friend Neil had extolled the virtues of the new highway: it cuts down travel time from Bocaue to Subic Bay to a mere 30 to 45 minutes instead of the two hours it usually takes through several towns of Pampanga and Bataan. And so I was really looking forward to testing it out, only to have my intentions thwarted for the meantime.

But thinking about it this morning led me to the conclusion that I really wouldn't have it any other way. I'm a big fan of road trips, not so much those of the speedy highway variety, but those that take you through the sinuousities of whatever country you may be traveling in. One memorable motorist adventure was the 900+ kilometer weekend drive from Paris to Monaco: sure, we got to the South of France in record time, but really missed out on the French countryside. We compensated, much to our enjoyment, by taking the "scenic route" on the way back.

Just this year, a missed exit on the US I-88 had us fortuitously taking the state highways through Illinois instead - now this was a slice of Americana I wouldn't have witnessed if we'd gone on the road well-traveled. A trip up to upstate New York and all its scenic attractions was likewise off the beaten track - you won't find those quaint little local restaurants that serve fabulous food on the Interstate (unless Subway is your idea of quaint and fabulous).

Had we taken the Clark-Subic Expressway on this particular trip, I would have missed out on the mangoes of Zambales or the brownies of Floridablanca (I love making pasalubong stops). I also wouldn't have rekindled my relationship with Sting (favorite music to drive to on long trips) if the journey was short and quick. Or had the time to experience the calming yet unpredictable flow of the countryside, as opposed to the monotony of the freeway.

So, in the end, I actually wasn't disappointed that we had to take the long, familiar route. I wonder if I'll feel the same about the new Tarlac-Baguio City Expressway that they're just beginning to build - what, no more bagoong and Matutina stops in Pangasinan??!! (Echoes of the Tagaytay bulalo and coffee stops I've missed since they built the new Star Expressway to Batangas) The trade-off is that I'll no longer have to endure the tricyles, trucks, and Tarlac two-lane traffic...but I guess for now I'm happy enough to have the choice of taking the journey, or arriving swiftly at my destination.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Miracles

A miracle, defined by the dictionary, is "an effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause."

That's a little high-fallutin' for me, especially since I'm about to share with you a range of "miracles" that may or may not fit into the definition.

Today, I got present to the miracle of my career. Many of those close to me know that I'd given up the legal profession more than a few years ago to pursue other endeavors; heck, I was even in a magazine spread that extolled the choices of women as they changed horses midstream, so to speak. And yet, after going through all that drama, I am a lawyer in good standing before the Supreme Court and the Integrated Bar of the Philippines (took some effort to get me back on track), and God-willing, of New York State, and gosh darned, I'm proud of it. And of how I can make a difference knowing that don't have to "survive" (or bail out) to thrive in a purported sea of "sharks."

I got the miracle of conversation today. I spent half my day just talking with fellow lawyers, and later, with a client, as if the conversation would never end. Then, the rest of the day was spent in conversations with family, and with a number of remarkable individuals committed to have the miraculous happen in their lives. Despite the number of people I "had" to talk to, I kind of regretted that my last conversation (at 10:00 p.m.) had to end.

I also got present to the miracle of relationships. I am connected to the life force of the planet - the wonderful world of human beings - in ways that continue to astound me. The other night, I was in traffic - and a stranger of a street child (as opposed to the ones I've come to know over the years) started tapping on my car window for extra change. Since I started serving with the streetchildren's foundation, I've learned that a moment of relatedness and recognition produces more results than a perfunctory handover of coins - so I started a little pantomime with the kid. No, no money. No, no food on me right now. All I had was a big smile of acknowledgment - that met its counterpart. At the end of the exchange, I waved goodbye behind my tinted car window...and he did too, bless his heart, still smiling. I passed his way again the next night, through a green light, and he recognized me. God, I miss "my kids."

So those are some of my miracles to date. I should add one big one - the miracle of a highway built from Tarlac all the way to the foot of Baguio City - which I had hoped and wished and prayed for, and declared as a possibility almost two years ago, and which is going to be happening, finally (thanks Lex, for the heads up), without my having to do anything about it. Miracles abound, at every moment - but sometimes we just gotta get present to the moment and grab it for everything it's worth.

I'm ready for the next miracle...are you?

Love and light, peace and power to you always :-)

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Tsinelas

I recently read one of those tabloid articles "exposing" an unnamed actress for wearing her expensive shoes only when it was time to go on cam, and slipping back into tsinelas (best translated into English as "flip-flops") in between takes. The tenor of the article was deprecatory, as if it were belittling the poor celebrity for her inauthenticity in footwear.

Teka muna.

Whoever wrote that piece has obviously never experienced the discomfort of wearing - much less walking - in four-inch heels for an extended period of time. Designer shoes or not, comfort is almost always sacrificed for aesthetics: looking good weighs in more than feeling it. At least that's how I see it.

But nothing quite comes as close to the relief of slipping into comfortable footwear (which ideally approximates the pleasure of going barefoot) after several hours in killer shoes - it's akin to digging into a big meal when you're starving or making it to the john at the height of bladder overflow. It's the pinnacle of deliverance, sa totoo lang. And the most comfortable of comfort footwear is none other than the lowly tsinelas (a.k.a., beach thongs, slippers, ismagol sa Ilocano).

So pwede ba, knock it off with the bad tsinelas rap. I've half a mind to condemn you to a pair of Blahniks for the rest of your days - go walk the length of the Mall of Asia in those babies, if you dare.

If choosing tsinelas over Jimmy Choos were a crime, guilty ako dyan. I love how my murderous, mutinous, height-enhancing dress shoes complete my outfit when I'm standing still, but I'm not going to even venture crossing the street in them. So shoe me.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Postscript to Last Entry

Here I go again!

I was just re-reading my last post (Wednesday Blogger, see below), when I GOT that I'd forgotten an area of my life that I always seem to conveniently forget. So this time, I'm going to give it an entry all its own.

I'm creating time to have that great relationship in my life - an honest-to-goodness, knock-your-socks-off, kilig-to-the-bones, loving, committed, for-keeps relationship. It's something that I've always said I wanted, but which always seems to slip my mind. Hmm...interesting. I don't know how that's going to happen, or where it's going to fit on my plate, but I'm just saying.

Looks like I'll have to get a great big serving platter for this one. :-)

Wednesday Blogger

One of the biggest breakthroughs I got out of Landmark Education's Curriculum for Living has to do with my relationship to time and my schedule. A few years back, I remember having "no time" to do everything I needed to do: it was always a mad rush to get our of the house, to work, to meetings, through meals, and even vacations. There simply just wasn't enough time!

And then, sometime during the Introduction Leaders' Program, I got that I could run my schedule, instead of it running me. That shift in perspective had me do a whole lot of things I'd previously professed I never had the time to do: take on more projects at work, create businesses, supervise programs and seminars for Landmark, attend trainings abroad, and even take vacations and three months off out of the country to review and take the NY Bar Exam! (As a side note: I just found out yesterday that I passed the Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam - yahoo!)

It takes constant and continuous practice though, to manage everything on my plate (the key there is always getting a bigger one, instead of cramming stuff on top of each other). My expansion in that area hasn't gotten to the level of mastery yet, but as I continue to practice expansion, i.e., taking on more things instead of prioritizing or sacrificing, I've found that things are working; stuff is getting done.

These last few days, in particular, I've noticed that I've gotten to create a life of my own design - and everything "fits." Since I got back from the US, I've spent time in and out of town with old friends and my sorority sisters, had conversations towards creating (even more!) businesses, taken on new clients for the law office, all while leading Introductions to the Landmark Forum, managing the next seminar and the upcoming Advanced Course, and taking coaching calls/conversations throughout the day. Almost nothing has been compromised: aside from scheduled time with different groups of friends, I still get to have weekday breakfasts or lunches with my Dad, dinner with my Mom, drinks with my brother. Tonight, I even have time to accept my Dad's longstanding invitation to join his socio-civic organization, and, this weekend, I'll be going out of town for a little family summer outing (followed by another sorority shindig).

While my ever-expanding "plate" knows no weekends or weekdays or hours, I set aside one day to "chill" (in a relative sense). I created that on Wednesdays, I don't have to be anywhere in particular: I can work and take calls from home, do my beauty rituals, go to my Dad's evening meetings (or not). One area that I haven't gotten around to creating time for as of late is mission, and it looks like my plate is going to have to get a little bit bigger (Wednesday mornings and Saturdays are the days I'm designating for that).

And, as the title of this post indicates, Wednesdays are my days to blog; while I may put up the occasional post throughout the week, Wednesday is my designated day to update this page and unload my thoughts.

Blessed be God for schedules we get to create - hey, He got a whole lot done Himself in just six days! :-) " And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good." (Genesis 1:31)

Saturday, March 22, 2008

For Claire

My dear friend Claire writes like a dream; not surprisingly, as she can carry on the most literate of conversations on life, love, and faith. One of her favorite subjects is the state of being single - also a subject of our numerous discussions over the years. Due to the "toxicity" of her schedule as a medical resident (newly graduated) and my frequent travels, we haven't had a chance to meet up for the coffee-and-conversation date we've been eternally planning, but I thought of Claire as I read this book over Good Friday (not exactly prescribed Holy Week reading!). The protagonists of How To Be Single: A Novel (Liz Tuccillo, 2008) are all single American women a little bit older than Clairebear (my age, for that matter), but their experiences are perhaps universal. The premise of the book, in fact, is just that: the narrator travels the world to seek out whether single women elsewhere have "got it figured out" (as far as she can tell, they haven't). Anyway, there are several passages that stand out, even out of the story's context, and I thought I'd share some of them here. For you, Claire, until we meet for that coffee and I can give you the book itself.

"The love of her life, the love of her life. As Alice took a shower, she realized it came down once again to one thing: What did she believe in? In other words, What kind of life did she want to live? Did she really think the love of her life was out there? Did she think it was wise to go back out into the wilds of being single just in the hope of finding him? What was she holding out for? As she toweled herself off, she realized that she didn't want to be the girl who refused to settle. She didn't want to be the girl who believed that life is short and it's better to be single and looking for the 'love of your life' than to just give up and settle. She didn't want to be that girl. She thought that girl was stupid. Naive. Alice liked being practical; she was a lawyer, so she preferred to be realistic. Waiting and searching for the love of your life was exhausting. It might even be delusional. Again, yes, she knew that some people win the love lottery and get to fall in love with someone who is also mad about them, and their life together is harmonious and filled with love. But she didn't want to be the girl who stubbornly held out for what might never come.

She sat back down on her bed, wrapped in a little towel, and she began to cry. She started sobbing, her arms wrapping around her legs as she put her head on her knees and rocked and wept.

She realized she was that girl.

That girl who, at thirty-eight, couldn't give up the dream that she would meet a man who made her heart soar and that they would share a life together. She cried knowing it meant that she had to worry about whether she was ever going to start a family, that she would be thrust back into a world where nothing was guaranteed and all she really had was hope. She knew it meant that she would be single again."


Here's to not settling, Clairebear. :-)

Maroon to the Core


My alma mater is celebrating its 100th year in 2008, and while I missed the kick-off festivities, I join in the revelry of the University of the Philippines' centennial. I'm a full-blooded Maroon, literally having spent almost the entirety of my academic life in the sprawling campus of UP Diliman (elementary, high school, college, law school - plus a stint doing my Masters' at UP Clark Air Base). It's therefore not surprising that I can sing U.P. Naming Mahal (U.P. Beloved) backwards, in both languages, in my sleep. My entire family is Maroon, and so are most of my oldest and dearest friends, as well as all the named partners of our law firm. Over the years, I've developed a magnanimous tolerance peaceful co-existence with non-UP grads, yet in my heart, U.P., for all its faults, will always be number one. Di rin magbabago ang damdamin, baby.

So as a personal tribute to the 100 years of the country's premiere institution of learning, I offer this...meme. He he. It's a little self-indulgent, but a nostalgic trip down 17 years in the State U is worth the time and the blogspace. Nicked this off Clairebear's space:

mga isko at iska, sagot na!

To commemorate our centennial year...
University of the Philippines


1. Student number? 85-14360. Yes, I was a 14-year old freshman (freak).

2. College? College of Arts and Letters, College of Mass Communication, College of Law, Diliman. UP College at Clark Air Base in between CMC and law school.

3. Ano ang course mo? (What did you Major in?) BS Humanities, BA Communication (Broadcasting), Bachelor of Laws, Masters in Public Administration and Asian Studies.

4. Nag-shift ka ba o na-kick out? (Did you shift majors/Courses or were you a kicked out of your College)? Shifted from a then pre-med BS Hum to BA Comm. One of the best decisions of my life!

5. Saan ka kumuha ng UPCAT? (Where did you take your entrance examination?) The big CS auditorium in Palma Hall (what used to be the Arts and Sciences Building)

6. Favorite GE subject? (General Education classes) Spanish with Senor Maranan. Vamos a la playa! Besame mucho...

7. Favorite PE? Swimming

8. Saan ka nag-aabang ng hot guys/girls sa UP? (Where did you hang out to check out the hot babes/dudes?) Definitely not at the UP CMC. Not that there weren't any hot guys - the men were hot all right, but they weren't exactly my idea of, er, guys. The College of Engineering was always a good place for sightseeing...

9. Favorite profs? (Favorite Professors?) Diane Teotico (RIP, Broad. 100 and Radio Production), Evelyn David (TV Production), Malu de Guzman (TV Performance), Tony La Vina (Criminal Law 1), Arno Sanidad (Criminal Procedure).

10. Pinaka-ayaw na GE subject (least favorite General Education class)? Nat. Sci 2 - Physics! Eeegh. And Math 11, my one and only Math class. Thank God for the EDSA I Revolution and mass promotion!

11. Kumuha ka ba ng Saturday classes? (Did you sign up for Saturday classes?) Involuntarily, and I cut through almost all of them.

12. Nakapag-field trip ka ba? (Did you join any field trips?) If I remember right, only once to Batangas to shoot our TV Performance finals.

13. Naging CS ka na ba or US sa UP? (Were you ever a College Scholar and or a University Scholar) Yes, before all the extra-curriculars. He he.

14. Ano ang Org/Frat/Soro mo? (What Organization/Fraternity/Sorority were you a member of?) This is why I didn't make CS or US ever again: UP Samaskom, Interschool Business Association, UP CMC Student Council, UP Law Portia Sorority, Paralegal Volunteers' Organization, Society of Law Students, UP Law Debate Team, Philippine Law Journal, UP Law Student Government, UP Inter-sorority Council, STRAW Alliance.

15. Dorm, Boarding house, o Bahay? (Did you stay at a dorm, boarding house or did you live at home during college?) Home, which is 15 minutes away from UP Dil, but I always slummed at my friends' dorm during law school.

16. Kung walang UPCAT test at malaya kang nakapili ng kurso mo sa UP, ano yun? (If you had your way, what was your dream course/major?) Marine Biology, which wasn't offered in Diliman at the time (and which involved a lot more math units), or Hotel and Restaurant Management (hmmm...which involved a lot more math units too. Mabuhay ang Mass Comm!!)

17. Sino ang pinaka-una mong nakilala sa UP?(Who did you first meet at UP?) Her name was Christie, she was from Mountain Province...and I don't know whatever happened to her.

18. First play na napanood mo sa UP? (First play you watched in UP) Should have been Isko, the definitive play (musical) about life in UP, which happened to star someone who would be (and still is) my best friend of the last 22 years as Isko himself. But I think it was Tennesee William's Camino Real at Wilfrido Ma. Guerrero. Remembered it just now (many hours after posting the original of this entry).

19. Saan ka madalas mag-lunch? (Where did you usually eat lunch?) First two years of college, at CASAA (Sizzler and Gloria's) - ooh, refer back to #8 - where I would ogle future Senator Francis Pangilinan (he would later be a law school classmate, friend and boss) as he ordered his meatballs and chocolate milk. I could die... In Mass Comm, at Pampaguena's and a variety of drinking places - Goldmine, Mister Steak, Tia Maria's - on Katipunan (liquid diet! Huwhaay not??). In law school, at Da Wall (MWSS jeepney turo-turo), Mommy Thai's at IC, and all those non-drinking establishments along Katipunan (we finally learned to drink AFTER school hours).

20. Masaya ba sa UP? (Was it fun in UP?) DA BEST.

21. Nakasama ka na ba sa rally? (Did you ever get to go to a rally?) Many times after I quit being so apathetic (ironically, in law school): the warrantless arrest of my classmate, the anti-US Bases rally, STFAP, among others...I think I was in a rally every year. Good old days.

22. Ilang beses ka bumoto sa Student Council? (How many times did you vote for Student Council elections?) I should know this. In law school, every year; in undergrad I think I only voted when I ran. Haha! Oh wait, I voted for Francis Pangilinan pala. Yahoo!

23. Pinangarap mo rin bang mag-laude nung freshman ka? (Did you ever aspire to graduate with honors when you were a freshman?) My Mom sure did.

24. Kung di ka UP, anong school ka? (If you didn't go to UP, what school would you have gone?) I would be an out-of-school youth. You see, I didn't apply to any other school. UP or nothing! (Tigas...)

Man, that was fun...I could use a PhP7 bottle of Pale Pilsen right about now.

Friday, March 21, 2008

No Place Like Home

I'm back on the sultry shores of the Philippines - and slowly disengaging myself from the throes of lethargy. The intercontinental jump from a brisk 12C to a humid 33 degrees, plus readjusting my body clock 13 hours forward, is wreaking havoc on my system, and I've been sleeping like a bear. This morning I went to bed at half past 3 am, and, to my horror, got up 15 hours later! Then I fell asleep again after dinner - my sister kept checking my pulse to see if I was still alive. Oh well, now it's 2:30 a.m. and I'm wide awake (duh).

I never thought I'd be missing the cold weather of the North, but it's good to be home. Home is a PhP70 ($1.50; $2 with tip) pedicure at the UP Shopping Center, Joel Torre's chicken inasal with lots of red mantika and garlic rice, a Jollibee meal number NE2 (sweet spaghetti and regular Yum), my Mom's lomo-lomo, SM Megamall, a four-day long Holy Week-end, the Landmark Manila community, my beloved family and friends (some of who I've already sleepily spoken with - pardon the torpor of our conversations). None of the above is available elsewhere on the planet, and I'm blessed to have them near. I'm already creating my next international adventure, but for now, I'm home sweet home.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

One (More) Big Fight

It's a little anti-climactic, but here I go on the last leg of legal testing - God-willing, the last EVER. The Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam (MPRE) is tomorrow, and, unlike the Bar, is only two hours and 60 (multiple choice) questions long. And thankfully only covers one subject - legal (including judicial) professional conduct and ethics.

If I may say so myself, did a pretty good job in both my Legal Ethics class under the late great Justice Irene Cortes, and in the Legal Ethics section of the Philippine Bar. Plus, most of the continuing legal education units I had to cram in before I left consisted of hours upon hours of Legal Ethics lectures (ugh).

However, my proficiency in Philippine legal ethics did little to prepare me for legal ethics, American style. In this country where advertising legal services on billboards and television and accepting contingent fees are permissible (both are prohibited under the Philippine Code of Professional Responsibility), I've had to learn and re-learn more than a few concepts. Judges campaign and are elected to office here, a situation I never had to deal with back home; and it's much more litigious on these shores than it is in the Philippines, where a guest would never dream of suing a homeowner if the guest slipped and fell in the homeowner's home (darn it, I'm beginning to sound like a frickin' Bar fact pattern).

Anyway, one last hurrah, and this particular US trip is complete. I have a week after tomorrow to really hang loose and just enjoy whatever's left of the winter (apparently there's still a lot more cold to bear, according to the forecasts) so I'm just gonna chill (literally and otherwise) before thawing out in my beloved Manila.

Go team fight!

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

East Coasting

I'm back in Midwestern territory - the beautiful city of Chicago - after more than a week on the East Coast. An extended week, I should say, since the experience was too fantastic to cut short and I ended up moving my flight.

While I already spent some time in New York, and enjoyed a considerable stay in New Jersey as well a few years ago, it's only gotten better. Perhaps the biggest reason I had such a grand time this time around was the company I kept (although of course the last time was spent with fabulous friends too). My sorority sister and fellow NY Bar candidate Leah, fellow Ilocana now Upper West Side resident (faaaabulous pad that took the edge off my pre-Bar stint whilst I crashed there); my fantabulous and ever-gorgeous college friend Viviene from Connecticut; Carlo from Queens, my good intercontinental friend who can work both Wall Street and E. Rodriguez with such grace and generosity; and of course my kumare and kumpare Stelle (shopping sister!!!) and Tim, my goddaughter Mikayla and the very warm and welcoming Tata and Dada Maulits from Jersey City. Ohmygosh, the reason I enjoyed the East Coast so very much was YOUR COMPANY. Thank you so very much, dear friends. God bless you all, you were such a contribution to my happiness the entire time I was over there. I am truly blessed to have you in my life. For sure, I'll be knocking on your doors again very soon :-)

Thursday, February 28, 2008

The Day After

Liberation!

Ah, the ecstacy of completion. As soon as I darkened the Question 200 bubble with my No. 2 lead pencil, I was frickin' FREE! One part of me wanted to whoop it up and high-five-body-slam my seatmates, but the atmosphere was one of restraint. People were filing out and packing up their stuff all too quietly, sedately, seriously for my taste.

What a far cry from the last few minutes of the 1994 Bar, when you could hear all the different college bands striking up in the distance and you couldn't wait to rush out into the congratulatory wave of well-wishers. The Polytechnic University, the site of the '94 exam, leads out into a narrow street - and that's where the throngs of bar supporters parked themselves at. I was intoxicated even before I reached the UP station in the middle of the road: the Silliman people (I'd competed earlier that year in a debate at their school) accosted me with several shots of tequila as I made my way past. More drinking to come thereafter (I think we went for lots of beers and pizza and a loud band at Chatterbox), and the next succeeding days. Good times!

Fast forward to post-NY Bar 2008. Good thing that my sis Lea and I tested at the same location; we celebrated with a big dinner at Korea Town, then headed back home for a quiet evening. No tequila for me, just several well-deserved beers (yum); and no raucous well-wishers, just several phone calls, local and overseas, from my support network of family and friends. And then sleep, wonderful, peaceful, uneventful sleep!

Today I had more sleep (a little nap after waking up, he he), and then set off to explore the nooks and crannies of the Big Apple. I walked up and down West Broadway to buy stuff at a few specialty food stores (bagels, boursin, and brie! Tarush...), bought a tonload of (non-law related!!) books at Strand, did some midtown pasalubong shopping, got me some Chinese takeout, lugged everything back home on the subway...and now I'm enjoying the fruits of my "labor." "Enjoy" is the operative term: now that the Bar is over and done with and I don't have to think about another legal doctrine, element, or principle, I can actually begin to enjoy New York City, and the US, for that matter. Bar none, it's about time!

Monday, February 25, 2008

The Night Before

It's the “night before” - take two.

Almost 14 years ago, I swore I'd never, ever take the Bar Exam again, even if it meant that I didn't get to be a lawyer at all. Thankfully, I made it the first time around, and I joyfully basked in the thought that I would never have to undergo that experience ever again.

Fast forward to the 21st century, and guess what – not only am I going through the Bar experience again, I'm actually doing it out of my own volition. Knowingly, willingly, voluntarily (recklessly?). In a whole new jurisdiction where legal animals such as the Rule Against Perpetuities and Judgments Notwithstanding the Verdict prey on unwitting innocents. Eek.

But finally, after almost five months of wrapping my brain around the nuances of U.S. common law and the New York distinctions, it's the night before.

In 1994, the night before was a sweltering, rain-drenched evening in September, spent holed up in the sorority “shelter” (i.e., a seedy Manila motel near the exam site) with my roommate May Flores, a dear sorority sister with whom I shared the tensions and trepidations of the evening as we gazed up at the large ceiling mirror above the bed (I did say “seedy motel,” didn't I?). Tonight, it's a brisk but comfortable evening in Manhattan; I've just gotten home after a Chinese dinner with my Nu Yawk-er friend Carlo, and I'm happily “holed up” in the U.P. Law Portia Sorority's unofficial NY Bar shelter (i.e., a gorgeous apartment on the Upper West Side) with the apartment's resident and another dear sorority sister, Leah Olores. Tensions and trepidations? Not so much. I'm treating myself to a pre-Bar beer, and remembering how another favorite sis, Bembem dela Torre, and I would “de-tox” every weekend during the 1994 review over sisig, San Mig Light, and loads of great conversation at Trellis.

In 1994, I spent the pre-Bar day going to Mass, stressing a little too much, and not being able to sleep a wink. Tonight, after having heard Mass yesterday at St. Patrick's and dropping by another church today, I staked out the exam venue, had a huge lunch, and went shopping in mid-town Manhattan before meeting up with Carlo on Wall Street. I refuse to stress (“It is what it is”), and I fully intend to sleep through the night. Pass me another beer, please.

In 1994, all I could think about was how happy I'd be after the Philippine Bar was over and done with, and of all the stuff I'd be free to do right after. Tonight...ditto.

Let's get it on!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Andok-trinated

Just a short note to re-activate this blog - I know I've been less than assiduous in writing about the goings-on in these here parts. I promise to post more starting tomorrow; goodness knows I've got enough photos and a ton of non sequiturs to unload on this space, just haven't gotten around to doing it.

One thought I have tonight (or should I say, this very early morning) is about two of the loveliest words in the Filipino language. Lechon. Manok.

Yum.

I never thought that this common-place alternative to a fast-food take out would be the stuff of my gustatory longings. O, for an Andok's or Baliwag's or Sr. Pedro around the corner! With generous lashings of Mang Tomas spiked with sili and a big pile of achara, plus steaming hot kanin...hay. I also must admit that my favorite lechon manok side is... lechong liempo!!! Cholesterol heaven!!

OK sure, the local Jewel has those rotisserie chicken deals (a little overpriced for my taste, when I think of the $3 price tags back home), but it's not quite the same. I need the real McCoy, and darned if I don't take on the challenge while I'm here (especially since I discovered this lovely Asian grocery that carries all the familiar stuff, like Mang Tomas, Jufran, and yesss tanglad). After all, since I've been here, I've so far demystified my favorite comfort food, Luk Yuen halo-halo congee, Thai crispy catfish salad (with a twist), chicken curry in the absence of gata or yogurt, Yang Chow fried rice (hot dang, I've got it down to a T), Tom Cruise's carbonara, moussaka.... well, now you know what I've been doing when not studying.

So this short note didn't turn out to be so brief after all... but at least I got some sort of release. Will defrost the manok tonight, and post the 411 on the Andok-trination asap!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Random Rah-rah

It's blizzarding outside! Now I know how it's like to be my favorite Dairy Queen dessert. Minus the chocolate mallows, heh heh.

I don't have a unified thought for this entry, but might as well work out the rusty writing edges.

L is my IL buddy!! Yahoo!! He's oh-my-%$#@!*&'ngly handsome and awesomely ripped, with a budding movie/TV career. What more could a girl dream of? Truth to tell, he's the stuff of my nightmares. You can't sneak anything past him - "hoy kumakain ka na naman! (sabay hingi)." Nevertheless, I won't let you down, Junior. Those tabloid columnists won't have anything on you (or me, vicariously).

Speaking of dreams, I had one last night about "HoneyStar." Aww, Meyan, wish you were here for me to share it with. Mwaha!

I've finally gotten my Rule Against Perpetuities straight. I think. P%$#@#@!!&%&... and I thought I conquered it with reserva troncal back in '94.

Mareng Day - I love you, I'm thinking about you, and I'm about to read three books to "abundify" our possibilities together. Will write you again soon!!

Speaking of Day, my whole nutritional lifestyle has undergone a major overhaul: no more fastfood (as in, none at all) and lots of veggies and other healthy stuff. I'm still the omnivore, but much more responsible in what goes in (and out) of me. Gotslotsa veggies and tofu and good stuff but haven't met my seafood requirements on this continent yet. Miss my paksiw na galunggong and inihaw na pusit!

So 'yun lang muna. Chika again later - for now, b'bye!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Half-Moon Over Chicago

I like standing out on the balcony of my sister's Chicago apartment, just taking in where I'm at in time and space. In the summer, it's balmy and warmer than any Manila day; in the winter, it's brisk and chillier than the coldest day in Baguio City. Sometimes it reminds me of the Wack-Wack office, which is so different from my QC home - lots of bustle, no greenery, people and cars and the trains moving about, 24/7.

Tonight, there's a half-moon over Chicago. From where I'm at, the Sears Tower is a few blocks away, in direct sight. Lake Michigan, one of the greatest bodies of water I've set my eyes on, is just a stroll away. Oprah (or her show, anyway) is a telephone call away, if I can get through (never have, so far); so is my Mom and my friends back home. My law review books are at my feet; I have stuff spinning in the dryer downstairs. The whole world seems to be within reach.

Then again, it seems that the world is so much more distant than it usually is, from my familiar vantage point. But it's all well. That's all I have to say tonight :-).