Saturday, December 29, 2007

Weather or Not

Giving myself a breather after two days of exploring the intricacies of Federal Procedure (wheee...huwaaahh!). So let me talk about the simpler things in life: in particular, the weather.

Today was a snow day - my first official experience of actual snowfall, as flurries apparently don't count. As always, my timing was impeccable - I'd planned to bravely venture out to do some shopping for supplies, only to find out from the early morning news that I'd be encountering some wet winter weather.

Even after bundling up, I had second thoughts of leaving the apartment - but then again, this would be an adventure in and of itself. The funny thing is that, while it was snowing all right, it wasn't as cold as I'd expected (there is probably some scientific explanation for this, which of course they didn't teach us in tropical elementary school). Therefore, I've arrived at the conclusion that it's not the snow that's going to be the death of me, but the wind.

Wind chill kills - or at least it'll kill me. Now don't get me wrong; I love cold weather. In fact, one of the reasons I chose to live in Baguio City is the cool mountain climate, which ranges from 15-21C at any given time of the year. Then again, I have an extremely narrow personal thermostat of 18-21C, above or below which I start to get uncomfortable.

I also require a sufficient amount of humidity, for which I'd usually escape to Session Road or the lower areas of BC when the house got too cold and dry (Manila's humidity, on the other hand, is a little more difficult to escape). Otherwise, my skin starts to shed and flake like crazy and my hair starts to go all coarse. I remember my first unfortunate school week in Paris when, instead of arriving in the summer weather I'd been expecting, I caught the tail end of a late, freezing spring - and my face dried up like a rice field in the midst of El Nino. Manila weather may be warm and humid, but it's the best moisturizer on the planet (ski-slope strength Nivea is my next best bet). My hair stylist is going to kill me when he finds out that, against his advice, I've been taking hot showers (which, unsurprisingly, has my hair frizz up and dry out). Sorry, Bambi!

Skin bakbak and falling snow that looks like balakubak in the wind (how romantic, haha) aside, I'm liking this strange new experience. The possibility of a white Christmas was my own creation, after all. And I promise never to complain about how warm and humid Manila is, ever again. :-)

Friday, December 28, 2007

Conversations in the Cold

Technically, I could justify lack of writing activity on some very good excuses. One, my hands are frozen stiff in -8 C winter weather. Two, I have nothing to write about. And three, the grandmother of an excuse to trump 'em all, I'm much too busy studying for the NY Bar to be bothered.

Then again, none of the above are true – technically.

Yes, I'm freezing – I'm in climes colder than I've ever been before, a situation hardly anticipated by my aborted relocation to chilly Baguio City or that February trek up the highest peak of Luzon that had Ney a-flurry with paternal concern (“Wear plastic bags over your socks!” “Keep bundled up!” “Eat your vegetables!”). Pretty good advice that applies to Chicago weather, except that I haven't had the chance to test out the plastic footwear trick, but I've kept warm and dry for the most part. Voluntary house arrest in this kind of weather is da bomb, and even the promise of all those post-Christmas sales isn't good enough reason to venture out in the wind and cold.

I have tons to write about, particularly about the phenomenon of American television, the rituals of turkey and other culinary traditions, homeless people in a First World country, and this strange new experience of ice raining down from the heavens.

And finally, while I've been busy studying, I've also spent an inordinate amount of time procrastinating and mentally beating myself up for doing so (that stops NOW). At bottom, a good full five hours a day (approximately a hundred pages) is the optimal amount to go through my books, plus another hour or so going through a practice exam. Which leaves about 18 hours for sleeping, eating, reality TV, e-mail, and other stuff.

Stuff like writing in my blog, which I've been putting off. No longer! Save for God and my sister, I don't have anyone else to talk to except for the doorman and the little voice in my head (which I invariably end up arguing with), so might as well “talk to the blog.”

More conversations to come very soon...happy holidays to everyone!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

I GOT That I FORGOT!!

I just had one of my biggest breakthroughs of the year. I GOT that I FORGOT!

I forgot WHO I AM.

No wonder everything had been an uphill struggle lately. And my "space" was cluttered up (come to think of it, so was my calendar, my room, and my car). It had all devolved into dealing with the here and now, fixing things that were out of integrity, getting the job done, doing, doing, doing.

I was stuck in the muck, and I didn't know how to get out. Then again, knowing makes no difference.

As always, behind the big breakdown was a huge breakthrough. And it came in progression.

I GOT who I AM in the eyes of my God; I'd forgotten. A light upon the Earth, a bearer of His love, His Beloved. I got that in Him, I have no cause for fear. Through Him, I am transformed from identity to divinity (almost fell off the pew when I heard that in Mass last Sunday).

I GOT who I AM as my WORD; I'd forgotten. A few months ago, I spoke into being a possibility bigger than I ever imagined myself speaking. Last night, and today, I was powerfully reminded of that by someone who listens to me as no less.

What I GOT was Source, and source - in Whose and in whose presence I am huge, extraordinary, and pure possibility. More immense than I think myself to be. I LIVE into that listening; I become ALIVE in it. And I am restored to who I AM. There is drudgery no more, for the future I am living into is one worth giving my life. I just forgot. :-)

I AM a human being, not a human doing. I am love, empowerment, and commitment. I am the transformation of Asia. I am a child of God.

Thank you Bella, Rachel, and my Beloved Lord and Savior, for never letting me forget.

All You Got
- DC Talk

Heard you say that no one seems to care about you
It's in your eyes
You think that life's unfair to you
Just give it all you got my friend
Just give it all you got, it's not the end

'Cause you oughta know
There's a reason for these changing seasons
God only knows how much your heart can bear
So don't you let go
Everybody has their up and down times
Everybody needs to know how much they're loved
My friend, so hold on, it's not the end

As I remember, everything you touch
Will turn to gold, you held a secret
To make your grandest dreams unfold
You were the very best of us all
But the sun that rises still falls

'Cause you oughta know
There's a reason for these changing seasons
God only knows how much your heart can bear
So don't you let go
Everybody has their up and down times
Everybody needs to know how much they're loved
My friend, so hold on, it's not the end

It's just a love song
'Cause everybody needs a friend
And I'll be right here for you
It's just a simple prayer
It's from the bottom of my heart
That He'll never let you go