Walang Hiya

I distinguished something last Sunday. The day before, one of my favorite mothers at the Foundation was telling me that she was desperately trying to put together some money for her son's "capping" (he's studying to be a nurse) as she could not afford the fees. Judith suggested that the mother give me a call and see what she could work out, but it just so happened that I'd been up 'til early morning and was still asleep when she rang. So Nanay C was stopped at that, and told me that she didn't want to bother me out of hiya.

As I told her, if she did bother, she would have gotten a more than favorable response, as I'd been praying about whom I should give a certain tithe. But hiya got the best of her.

Hiya. I just got that "being ashamed" is one of the biggest cultural inauthenticities of the Filipino - and to my mind, it's a major deterrent to true freedom and self-expression. I've heard it used too many times as an excuse to be concerned; hiya is actually repressive and totally a crock of *censored*.

"Nahihiya kasi akong lumapit sa iyo," "nakakahiyang abalahin ka," "hindi ko masabi dahil sa hiya," "Ayoko nga, nakakahiya!" Shyness, shame, reticence - a huge obstacle to really getting the results we want in life.

I was speaking to Mike and Judith about it over lunch, when I got the inauthencity of it: hiya in this sense cannot be from God. Embarassment and being ashamed on the one hand hides fear - of rejection, refusal, being made to look bad. Worse, hiya is actually a subterfuge for pride - which, in Christianity, caused a favored angel's fall from grace. It is a deceptively innocent means to mask the refusal to acknowledge that one needs assistance, support, or in the direst case, salvation. It may not be a malicious guise, but it is, at bottom, fake. And I cannot believe it comes from God.

For, after all, the opposite of pride - which is basically what hiya is - is humility, a virtue or quality extolled in Scripture. Humility, in practical terms, is the acknowledgment of one's limitations, and the grace of being able to request assistance, support, salvation, from another. It's telling that this kind of candor is frowned upon in this society: we live our lives pretending out of hiya that we don't need anyone's "help" and refuse to publicly acknowledge it, while actually knowing in our heart of hearts that another person could make a huge difference in regards to what we desperately need or want. Translating this in terms of faith, the refusal to accept the Lord's redemption of our eternal souls on the basis of hiya or "I'm not worthy boohoohoo" is not just a tragedy, it's fancy, fragrant bull*censored.* Or to even come face to face with Him after the temple veil was torn, once and for all, by His sacrifice of salvation, allowing us direct access to the Holiest of Holies. It's like putting up sandbags around us to keep the tide of His Divine Mercy from coming in.

Hiya is pride, pure and simple. So I say, don't be that. That's one Filipino trait I am definitely not committed to perpetuating. Walang hiya kami dito! :-)