Today I found myself, upon the invitation of a dearest sister-in-Christ, at a worship workshop. What better way to spend a Sunday afternoon...and who better else to spend it with (referring of course to the aforementioned sister, her future bridegroom, and several dozen worshippers! Plus a couple of dear familiar faces from my old worship ministry as an added bonus). Anyway, I was excited to come into communal worship after the last major space-clearing, and man, was I blown away!
Mela reminded me of how, once upon a time, I described my connection to my God as on a "broadband" level, an upgrade from "dial-up." But today, whoa, the network connection went off the scale - I was totally hooked, wired, fully connected! Rissa Singson, in her talk, also confirmed something I've only recently been experiencing in my prayer time: ever since the clearing of my relationship with Him, my early morning worship and prayer time has been much more profound and intense, albeit much shorter in length. Sometimes it takes only five minutes (from my usual 30-45 minutes), and my Lord and I "get" each other more powerfully and distinctly than if I'd spent an hour trying to get to Him.
And worship, finally, became really and truly about Him. When I used to lead worship, I'd be overly concerned about cues and appearance and melody and what to say, that I'd almost lose sight of Who worship is really about. But now I finally got it. Praise God! Woohoo!
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Grace In My Space
What's in my space today?
I'm grateful for a little quiet time to myself and my laptop. This Space Mountain of a ride has had me swept off my feet the last several days that I usually get home in the wee hours and way too tired to do anything else. Tonight, we called it an "early" one after eating too much (again); but Bakang seems to have other plans and is enticing me to jam awhile - I don't think so. Just sent in my "kids'" final grades; have an early day tomorrow to do catering stuff and chorva.
*An hour and a half later* Just got off the phone - haven't used the landline so much since high school; my mobile phone bill must be horrendous (the family company pays for it, and I usually get flak from my Mom when my bill goes even slightly off the charts, but lately she's noticeably nonplussed about the whole thing).
What's in one particular space in the garage today was the former love-of-my-life, the symbol of freedom and independence and my one-way ticket out of "bad" situations. My beloved Toyota is crushed beyond recognition, its hood and engine crumpled like a used tissue. I'm now dependent on friends and my father to get where I need to be, and, starting Saturday, on a hired driver to ferry me safely back and forth, especially when I'm tired and sleepy (I fell asleep at the wheel on Sunday morning; H will probably make good on his long-time promise to come over to personally kick my a$$ since the worse has happened - good enough reason to finally get jerky to come over, just kidding jerky! :-) ) But that crash created a huge space to realize many things: that I am not Superwoman and my act of "being able to do everything" is disappearing, with the ability to sleep normally taking its place; that you can actually get out of that traumatic loss of the symbol of life, liberty, and very expensive property with detachment; that you need to do what you need to do not someday, but NOW NOW and NOW, because you might not come out of the next car crash. And that God truly loves me and watches over me, and makes all things - even a potentially fatal accident (the airbags did not deploy) work for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28). I got out with just a split lip that hurt only when I laughed, a broken molar, and a greater sense of urgency to live life in this world in preparation for the next - in all its exceeding abundance!
And that's what in my space. What's in yours?
I'm grateful for a little quiet time to myself and my laptop. This Space Mountain of a ride has had me swept off my feet the last several days that I usually get home in the wee hours and way too tired to do anything else. Tonight, we called it an "early" one after eating too much (again); but Bakang seems to have other plans and is enticing me to jam awhile - I don't think so. Just sent in my "kids'" final grades; have an early day tomorrow to do catering stuff and chorva.
*An hour and a half later* Just got off the phone - haven't used the landline so much since high school; my mobile phone bill must be horrendous (the family company pays for it, and I usually get flak from my Mom when my bill goes even slightly off the charts, but lately she's noticeably nonplussed about the whole thing).
What's in one particular space in the garage today was the former love-of-my-life, the symbol of freedom and independence and my one-way ticket out of "bad" situations. My beloved Toyota is crushed beyond recognition, its hood and engine crumpled like a used tissue. I'm now dependent on friends and my father to get where I need to be, and, starting Saturday, on a hired driver to ferry me safely back and forth, especially when I'm tired and sleepy (I fell asleep at the wheel on Sunday morning; H will probably make good on his long-time promise to come over to personally kick my a$$ since the worse has happened - good enough reason to finally get jerky to come over, just kidding jerky! :-) ) But that crash created a huge space to realize many things: that I am not Superwoman and my act of "being able to do everything" is disappearing, with the ability to sleep normally taking its place; that you can actually get out of that traumatic loss of the symbol of life, liberty, and very expensive property with detachment; that you need to do what you need to do not someday, but NOW NOW and NOW, because you might not come out of the next car crash. And that God truly loves me and watches over me, and makes all things - even a potentially fatal accident (the airbags did not deploy) work for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28). I got out with just a split lip that hurt only when I laughed, a broken molar, and a greater sense of urgency to live life in this world in preparation for the next - in all its exceeding abundance!
And that's what in my space. What's in yours?
Friday, October 13, 2006
Tabula Rasa
...and oh so many colors to paint with. I figured that this new life should go with a new blog.
The old life and all its drama is now archived here.
Bring it on, the new life is beginning now, and now, and now, and now, and now...
God truly makes all things new :-)
The old life and all its drama is now archived here.
Bring it on, the new life is beginning now, and now, and now, and now, and now...
God truly makes all things new :-)
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