Next On The Agenda

Late one Friday night, while we were coaching a Landmark leadership program, my friend Peter shared with me that he was so looking forward to Saturday, because as he had scheduled in his Mission Control "capture tool" (i.e., planner/Blackberry/Outlook), it was time for him to sleep (or sleep in late, to be more precise). Now I know exactly what he meant.

It's been a long, busy week, and tomorrow I'm sleeping in. But before turning in, I have a load of stuff to be thankful for - waking hours well spent. The 19th Landmark Forum in the Philippines just completed its weekend today (awesomely, as always); I got through day two of my Mandatory Continuing Legal Education yesterday (two more Saturdays to go!); spent a really great evening with my law partners and new friends at Kenneth's birthday party; had some fantastic conversations about possibility, integrity, and even international trade law and college football; created the next Landmark Advanced Course; finished my first reading of the MBE subjects ahead of time; participated in the launch meeting of the fulfillment of my "son" J's possibility (and mine) of a dream book project, and more more more...all in a span of a few days. I really get that that's using up life - gloriously burning it up to the fullest.

And tonight/tomorrow I get to rejuvenate and restore. I get to "schedule in" sleep (and selfishly enjoy some real "me" time). Yum!

Good night, folks! God bless.

Without Integrity...

...nothing works!

Three BIG breakthroughs in integrity for me these last few days, and what whoppers they were! The last couple of weeks leading up to them had me in a funky space - not totally disempowered, but not all there either. It was like I was dragging my feet, doing everything that needed to get done, but still a little "off." As my friend "M the man" put it, when you get off being "off," it's like coming out fresh from a shower: "parang bagong ligo!" I couldn't have put it any better.

Breakthrough number 1. Integrity, as we know it well in Landmark Education , is, at its most junior level, keeping one's promises and agreements. What I got is that I very often keep my promises and agreements to other people, but when it comes to promises I make to myself...that's another story. At a weekend creation meeting for the next Landmark Advanced Course, my good buddy "SB" said, after I'd shared the promises to myself I wasn't keeping, "well, why don't you make those promises to me?" Absolutely brilliant! And it's been working like a dream - the promises I'd been putting off on fulfilling (booking my ticket to the US, renewing my passport, observing my review and workout schedules) have been held to account, and I'm happily on track. I bought my ticket to the US the day after the conversation, I renewed my passport the Tuesday after (see next breakthrough), and I get to report to "SB" - or "study buddy with a stud-ly body," heh heh, my daily progress in honoring my word as to my review and workout. And vice versa as regards his own promises to himself!

Breakthrough number 2. Another thing that had to be handled regarding my upcoming trip next month was my passport renewal - the travel document's validity was less than 6 months from the date of my travel on December 20. The thing is, they have a new passport system at the DFA which requires personal appearance at the Department of Foreign Affairs instead of the courier service. Ergo, long, sweaty lines and a massive amount of bureaucratic red tape (sure, I could've made a few phone calls and jumped the queues, but then I wouldn't have had my breakthrough, right?). Four hours into that, without having eaten anything the whole day = a very cranky me. I was exhausted, unhappy, and hungry and all I wanted to do was to go home and make everything and everyone wrong. But I had an Integrity seminar to assist at, so off I went to Makati. In the thick of Buendia traffic, and in a major disempowered state of pissed-off'ness, I began to distinguish what was having me be that way. Another thing I got as regards Integrity, Landmark style, is that standards and ideals get in the way of our being true to our values and principles. Suddenly, as I saw a traffic cop being wishy-washy in letting vehicles through, I saw exactly what my self-defeating standard and ideal was: "everything should work!" And if things don't work (or if it occurs to me that people's lives don't work), I get personally offended. Ha ha! That insight just totally blew me away, because on the other side of that was a value and principle I got to create in its place. If things are not working, how can I be responsible for workability being available, without making unworkability bad and wrong? What I created is being an extraordinary demand for things working - being the distinction b*tch, but for the sake of pure empowerment and possibility. The exhaustion and unhappiness completely disappeared by the time I got to AIM and the Integrity Seminar, and I stayed up on full power until almost 4 am the next day!

Breakthrough number 3 was pretty simple: being in action consistent with all the insights I'd gotten. The third and highest level of integrity is honoring one's word as one's self - walking the talk. And life just turned up in pure possibility - things in my life that had stalled all started to work, without effort. The clearing for integrity has allowed high levels of workability to be present, and I'm back in full gear, as regards to finances, my businesses, the profession, relationship, my coaching and other accountabilities, etc.!

The next Landmark Forum in Manila starts November 23, this Friday. It's been more than a year since I'd been in my own Landmark Forum, but, as I've written, the breakthroughs keep coming! Praise God for one of the most empowering experiences of my life; praise Him for the power, possibility and peace of mind He's made available through this work!

Heroes

"The sun rises on a new dawn. Yet few of us realize the debt we owe to those responsible for this, to those who dwell among us. Anonymous, seemingly ordinary, who destiny brought together to repair, to heal, to save us from ourselves.

"And they're still out there, among us. In the shadows, in the light; we pass them on the street without a glance, never suspecting, never knowing. Do they even know yet?

"But they're bound together by a common purpose, a glaring reality: to BE EXTRAORDINARY.

"And when destiny does anoint them, how do they hide from it? How long can they dwell in the shadows before fate, or their own flawed humanity, draws them out into the light...again?"

- Heroes, 2nd Season (1st episode)

Create, create, create...

It's been said that one of the pitfalls of living an invented life is the failure to create. It may sound obvious, but we're human beings, designed to forget. Once the creative facility stalls, a once-vibrant life becomes dreary, effortsome, boring (and then we start to ask ourselves what the problem is, i.e., in Landmark terms, "what's missing?").

Happily enough, I can distinguish the "red flags" of that state of ennui before it descends completely, and have committed to keep creating (even when sometimes I don't feel like it). After all, the Divinity that is within and around us is a creative force, endlessly speaking possibilities into being.

Today was another great opportunity to participate in that kind of marvelous creation, and earlier this evening, to keep whatever it was I created during the day in existence by writing it down. More than a gratitude journal (gratitude, to my mind, is a moment-to-moment acknowledgment of blessings, big and small, and then a completion of that experience by emptying one's "receptacle" to receive, once again. In other words, the past IS the past, I am profoundly, exceedingly, and constantly grateful for what has been given, AND at the same time emptied and ready for what is yet to be received), I keep a "creative log" of what I've "invented" for myself and my life for the day. There are some days when I slip into "ordinary" mode and forget to remind myself of what I've created, which is why the written log is such a great tool. What it represents and keeps in existence is my WORD - the possibilities of what and who I've declared myself to be. And, it's a indescribable thrill to revisit what I once wrote and actually confirm that I've realized it.

Let me share with you today's entries, with some brief notes on how those came about.

7 November 2007

1. Service at He Cares, at least once a week. Today was an opportunity for me to revisit where I began to find my purpose; I haven't been regularly serving at He Cares since I stepped into the astounding explosion of my LIFE in all its abundance, always knowing fully well that He Cares is a hugely important part of it. Last Monday, I promised Kuya JD I'd go back up to Montalban with him. And on Tuesday evening, at the Integrity Seminar, I got present to one piece of honoring my principles and values, which includes my commitment and love for sharing God's blessings as I'd been called to He Cares to do so, three years ago. This morning, in the presence of the people I've served and truly love as bearers of Christ Jesus on earth, I got to the complete realization of one of my fundamental principles and values in life, without which things are "off" and which gives me inspiration and genuine self-expression: SERVICE. This is who I AM. This is what I've been blessed to BE. And this is what I can be counted on for. I've been called back, and once again, I reply, "Here I am."

2. 85% in all areas of the NY Bar Exam. Haha, still in the middle of review, and getting there.

3. Developing and expanding TWT. I had a great conversation yesterday with a potential writer and shared with him the future we're creating for Third-World Traveler and the talented Filipino. Jeryc my son, we gotta get busy!

4. Developing and expanding C+C. Again, another great conversation with my kumareng Day about the potential and future of this endeavor, I love it! Next meeting to formalize the new structures and avenues of undertaking, right after November 16.

5. Practice guitar. Like I said, I logged this list down earlier this evening, and, after reviewing MBE Contract law, completing my workout (ha, something that's not been written, but an ongoing and unbroken commitment to myself to the possibility of "hot body" teehee), cooking dinner, and dealing with work, I just really got down to practice on the old acoustic. The miracle is, after a couple of hours of exercises, I just got out my chord book to worship the Lord, and I found myself playing better than I've ever done before! Not bad, considering that it's been a year since I "played" and I never was a very good guitar player to begin with.

6. Food photography. I'm actually going to practice that - been reading up on white balance and ISO and stuff like that, which I totally have ignored using my undermaximized point-and-shoot (a darned good one too, according to my friend Jason L). Good skill to learn for the catering business and the upcoming website (great idea from Day!)

7. Leading Landmark Introductions to Assisting. I've gotten HUGE breakthroughs in my assisting accountabilities at Landmark, and today I created the possibility of enrolling people into a life of service and contribution (this insight I got as a function of my breakthrough in #1).

So there, that's what I've created today. I wonder what I'll be creating tomorrow? Will be sure to let you know. :-)

Happiness...

...is ending a catering gig with people saying how much they loved your food and service, and that they'll see you again at the next job. Actually, happiness is the entire process of catering - from buying all the stuff from the market/s, getting the crew together, doing the cooking, setting up, and serving the guests. And, in my case, throwing in a song, upon request, with the live band (extraordinary service, free of charge). Happiness is also having a Long Island Iced Tea when things start settling down, and sending the service staff home with doggie bags (Henry and Thea, my brother-sister crew for the day, have 13 people living in their household at the moment, so that was a great bonus for them, aside from their fee and generous tip).

I love this job (one of many, all of which I love as well). Need a caterer? Drop me a line at C+C; my free entertainment package ends December 20. :-)

Re-Com

The last several days have been a re-communion of sorts, a "coming home" to many fond and familiar persons, places, pastimes, and pursuits:

October 23. Re-com with the Landmark family, with the start of the Integrity seminar. Always great to be in conversation with a community of possibility, and to be with people I love dearly. Speaking of whom, I had a re-com with the Pixel folks earlier that day, since M is out of the country and left a project that needed to be worked on; then much later that night it was a re-communing with my buddies at the "JJ Phad" - I promised I'd stay only a couple of hours so I could get ready for the next day's trip, but catching up with B & B plus beer and conversation and their guitars had us jamming until way past my bedtime (as always).

October 24. Re-com with the "Phad in BC" and BC itself! I won't go into the details, but suffice it to say that a year away had the Phad missing me like heck (and vice versa). There was a virtual forest growing on the steps, the locks were rusty and put up a struggle, but Ça vaut le voyage! I was "home" - a term that has expanded definition in the last year. Much to my relief, there wasn't anything of value taken in the break-in except for CC's cereals and the canned goods I left (whoever/whatever ate them must probably be dead of botulism anyway), and J's Swiss knife (I'm sorry anak, I'll get you a new one). All my DVDs, CDs, and plates were still there, not to mention my books, which unfortunately bore signs of dampness from the cold weather *boohoo*. At any rate, there wasn't time to read them, as the trip to my beloved BC had another re-com as its purpose: the MCLE (Mandatory Continuing Legal Education), or making up for the missed hours I skipped out on, to comply with the Integrated Bar's requirements. Another great re-com while I was there: I ran into a good friend L from my NGO days in the mid-90's as a rookie litigator with the Women's Legal Bureau. Over the next few days, not only did I re-com with the law, but with my favorite BC haunts as well: the market, Good Shepherd, and good old Session Road.

October 28. The Phad spotless and the jungle cleared, the next re-com was a visit to yet another "home" - Bangued, Abra, home of my maternal ancestors. That afternoon and evening I re-comm'd with my grandmother, my aunt and uncle, and had a few swigs of alcohol over conversation with my favorite cousin L.

*** Insert pleasant over-indulgent lull spent with Hugh Laurie and James Woods (House and Shark, respectively)...angsty doctor, angsty lawyer, both of whom I find irresistible, go figure... ***

November 2. Re-com with catering. The last week, I got two jobs for the food business I've sort of neglected these last several months, and I re-comm'd with a vengeance. Did the marketing myself for tomorrow's gig, recruited the old hands, prepped by really getting my own hands dirty (chopping ingredients, and even making a nice healthy dinner afterwards) even if my nails have grown nice and long and have been carefully manicured.

Re-com with guitar. Ouch. The nails didn't work; had to trim them down a bit to manage the chords. Hadn't touched N's old acoustic hand-me-down for months but managed to tune it nicely; though my fingers have gotten stiff and B minor is a pain once again.

Finally, my favorite re-com of all. Taking a breather from the hustle and bustle of life, in front of the Blessed Sacrament, just reveling in His calm presence and overwhelming love. Re-communion with my First of All, my Most of All, my All in All. The One Who awaits me at every moment to commune with Him, Who knows my deepest desires, Who sees the most extraordinary of my possibilities. I've not had much time to re-commune with my Maker lately, but today, when I did, it was like old times. And it was like new. In His presence, I'd come "home" too. :-)

Found In Translation

Next to Math, Filipino was my worst subject in school. Blame it on the prohibitive mentality at home and in an earlier school that speaking the native tongue was "bad and wrong": helpers were forbidden to speak to us in anything other than (somewhat broken) English, we were actually fined for every Tagalog word we spoke on school premises, and my brother and I were planted in front of every episode of Sesame Street (34 years later, he's still its biggest fan).

But I managed to find ways around the restriction - Wakasan komiks nicked from the yayas or rented out at 10 centavos from a nearby store, illicit viewings of old LVN movies and the saga of Flor de Luna, and a keen ear for chismis on the Barros side of the family that had me fully comprehending Ilocano at an early age (a purely auditory skill; I still can't speak it without sounding weird). All that sneaking around did me a whole lot of good when I moved to another school where everyone else spoke Filipino, except that I still struggled with the vocabulary way into the sixth grade ("What do you mean, sirit?").

Unfortunately, my proficiency was limited to conversational Tagalog. To this day, my head swims if you give me more than a paragraph of written Filipino; I hardly made it halfway through Florante at Laura, much less the Tagalog translations of Noli Me Tangere/El Filibusterismo without going into verbal shock.

Which is why it's very strange that I find myself translating written work in English to the native tongue. Anna Liza and all, English is still my first language - I think it, speak it, dream in it, and am more comfortable with it than any other. I can speak straight Filipino - if I were speaking in the streets - but my written grasp of the language still leaves much to be desired. And yet, through all these years of translation, I've been discovering the beauty and expressiveness of the Filipino tongue, which captures so much of the soul of its speakers.

I suppose I underestimate my proficiency in artistic expressions of Tagalog. Now that I think of it, I wrote numerous scenes for radio and TV broadcast at the College of Mass Communication, not to mention sketches for the long-running LIVE A.I.D.S. series in my SAMASKOM days. I also wrote a short play, entirely in Tagalog, as a requirement for the last class I attended before qualifying for my undergraduate degree: a modern parody of the Noli's Donas Victorina and Consolacion duking it out in the afterlife, staged at the Wilfrido Ma. Guerrero theater and performed by cast members of the UP Repertory. My PI 100 prof, Jess Ramos, loved it so much that he even requested my permission to have it re-staged for a Rizal conference; I still can't believe I could have written something so socially incisive yet entertaining (I've never bothered to keep tabs on the copyright of these works; the play might still be out there, just like the Utol scene I wrote which is allegedly still being used by UP Broadcasting majors almost 20 years from when I first wrote it for a TV production class).

Much later, even in law school, Filipino writing jobs still presented themselves. In my senior year, now-Senator then-plain-old-Kiko Francis Pangilinan had me write and produce his legal segments for the daily TV show Hoy Gising!, all entirely in Tagalog and masa/sub judice-friendly legalese.

Fast-forward to several years later, when mission work for the He Cares Foundation had me not only reading the Gospel in Tagalog, but preaching it as well. Plus there was the unbelievably time-consuming job (up to 11 hours for a wedding!) of translating the Liturgy into reader-friendly Filipino for Father Steve Tynan, every Saturday for almost two years.

Today, I still do a lot of translating work - mainly for the Augustinian Recollects through my good friend Father Boyax (apparently their Bisaya/Ilonggo is much better than their Tagalog skills; on the other hand, my Tagalog is far better than my Bisaya - again, another auditory language skill picked up from my father's side of the family, murag). I've done the translation of two videos for them, and just now wrapped up another on the life of St. Ezekiel Moreno. Also in the works (a long overdue project, my apologies) is a translation of the late Senator Raul Roco's book of quotations, commissioned by his wife Sonia. Religion and politics, translated in the style of Honey Oliveros. Kinda awesome, huh?

My TWT partner J and I have discussed plans of turning the tables and actually translating Filipino films to English; that would be even more awesome. TWT has also inspired me to study alibata (our logo is written as such), the native pre-Hispanic script of the islands, which is as beautifully written visually as it is verbally. And the beautiful Filipino language has me constantly fascinated as, in my translations, I've found (in my trusty English-Filipino dictionary) some gorgeously profound words I've never even heard before like tudlaan (target) and satsat (tonsure), as well as more than one really great word for "result": kinauwian, humantong, nagdulot etc. One of my favorite Filipino words that I prefer over the Spanish variant: sansinukob (universe). Root words: san/isang (all/one), sukob (encompassing, sheltering) - an all-encompassing, all-sheltering ONE. Gorgeous. The things you find in translation are pretty cool.